The One with Imperfect Realities

One of things I really, really miss about childhood was the actual reality of not having a care in the world.

I miss just waking up in the morning, just having breakfast, and then just playing outside with other kids. I miss how, after hours of just playing outside, I would come back into the house for another meal. I miss how after playing some more outside the house I would wash up and get ready for dinner. After which I would go to sleep at night and repeat these steps again the next day.

Everything was so simple back then. Life was uncomplicated.

As an adult, life is anything but simple. I sometimes wish some of the things in my life weren't my current realities.

Paying bills
I always feel I'm in a catch-release situation with my monthly utilities payments. It's like I'm running after something that permits me to catch them, but only for a brief respite. And then they're off and running again. It never feels like it's going to end.

The daily commute
Personally, I enjoy being on the move and not getting stuck in one place for too long. But as mentioned in my previous blog entry, I've stayed in this city for far too long than what I'm used to when I was growing up. More often than not, my daily commute from the house to the office has become mundane that I have to find ways to re-appreciate my usual route (thank you, Switchfoot and Facebook for keeping me company). Oh, and there's the condition of the public transportation system and the ever-increasing congestion of Cebu traffic.

Careless comments
Lately I've learned to mind how my words affect people. This is the reason why I tend to listen more and talk less these days. As someone who's had his fill of hurtful words from bullies in high school, I know how words can cut deep. I am most of the time careful with my words. Unfortunately, not everyone around me extends the same courtesy. Many times I find myself wishing people would follow the advice and instruction from the 'good book' regarding the use of the tongue, speech and words. I may be turning 42 in two days, but harsh words still have the same wounding effect on me.

Judgmental people
I guess I could consider this one as payback for the folly of my youth: I was very critical and judgmental of people. And I'm not saying I've outgrown this hideous iniquity today, nor am I saying I've reached perfection when it comes to taming my discrimination of people. I'm just wishing people would keep their judgments to themselves, like I do with mine most of the time (again because I know how words can cut deep). My rationale is this: if don't bother others with my prejudices, they shouldn't bother me with theirs. My judgments of other people, whether right or wrong, are really between me and God because I am accountable to God for my thoughts and the attitudes of my heart toward others. At the very least I wish people would assess the validity of their judgments first before opening their mouths.

. . .

I'm just really thinking out loud here.

I know the world is not perfect. I know people aren't either. I know these imperfections in our existence will always be around.

But I also know that it is the imperfect that keeps me longing for something more... something better. These imperfections are the ones that help me adjust myself to the truth of God's word.

These realities keep me hoping for the fulfillment of the promise of things eternal and flawless. And as much as I would want these imperfections totally removed from my life here on earth, I know that without them I wouldn't have been molded into who I am now, and I know nothing else will sharpen me to be come much better moving forward.

I want to be so much more than I am today.