The Long Way Up

Wow! . . . . . That was like... what? . . . . . Four months? . . . . .  Four months and no entry on this blog?!?!?! . . . . . So much has happened in that span of time. . . . . . A LOT! . . . . . But the most important of those happenings is a major occasion in my life: MY WEDDING! . . . . . Yup! You read that right! My wedding. I got married. Or more specifically, 'we' got married. And by 'we' I mean myself and my best friend of 18.5 years. . . . . . However, this isn't an article enumerating the sequence of events leading up to the wedding; neither is this a post about my thoughts and emotions about our 'perfect' wedding (more on that in another entry). Instead, this is me sharing the personal vows I wrote for my Bride, J. As an older adult, I have learned to be very circumspect when it comes to making promises to anyone around me, and I have also learned to carefully evaluate the cost of any pledge I deemed deserving of my commitment. This was my approach...

First would be your friendship true That saw my changes through and through Never holding back concern Cordial gestures, every turn Secondly, your deference Sincerely shown, though only friends Respected me for me; that's fresh The pious never could access Third would be your radiant smile To notice it, took quite a while But once I did, I could not cease Imagining your face with ease Fourthly, your benevolence In gracious gifts and opulence Dispensing blessings left and right You're shining forth the Father's light Fifth would be your love for words Your own or someone else's, heard With them you craft your special tales With theirs, your mind breathes in, exhales Sixthly, your desire for God He's seen along the path your trod His mercy, goodness forming you And from the old unveiling new Seventh, your simplicity Avoidance of complexity To make you laugh is such a breeze As are the tricks to get you pleased Eighth in line would be your charm You have a way; leaves ...

It's been a while since I said it last I'll make it quick and I'll make it fast I've seen in you the very best I choose you still; my heart invests A year and more, and more revealed Emotions, actions, words to wield Our love's become an open field I choose you still; to you I yield The little things and nuances They all add up to try and bless They're part of you, but I confess: I choose you still; I won't digress Becoming one with me you are You're getting closer though you're far No stranger to my battle scars I choose you still; thus says my heart Our journey's slow but getting there Has been assured by One Who cares With you around, my burdens share I choose you still, with simple flair

Nerves ball up, entangled into knots Grateful, blessed for what it is I've got How on earth did all these things line up Kind of scared I might not be enough You, so gracious, careful with my heart Think so oft of how you could impart Aide in word and deed and all that's good Back me up in every way you could I'm excited: what the future holds Still expecting ways it could unfold Places, paces, movements in the world Falling deeper as it all unfurls You, so soft and gentle to the touch Here with you, I feel it's all too much So much more of you yet to explore There's eight more to pass and not before That December day is far behind Stowed away inside my heart and mind One fine day cascades into a life Twelve months later: soon be man and wife

Words would never be enough Promises and sentiments etched in stone Can in time may still be eroded No empty oath, no platitude But gratitude through heart and hand And eros one day exploded For all benevolent intent you've shown A grateful soul appreciates The self to give is ever paramount For kindred heart, imparted flair Connect us in no usual method A word fit-spoken one can't do without For every thing that falls to place by you Bedazzles one who would applaud How does one's fortune sparkle bright For you, a beacon in hushless space Emblazoned in mysterious twist Now form the lovely moonlit night

Feelings are tricky. Even deceptive. You can't control who you have strong affections for, and you could never be certain if that person you're pining for has the reciprocal equivalent of your heightened emotions. Liking someone -- and eventually developing lasting fondness for and attachment to them -- is like playing a game of Russian roulette: you never know if you're going to get shot in the head or live to see another day. . . preferably in the arms of your object of affection who turned out to feel the same way that you do. Sadly, life doesn't always go the way we want. SHO T TO THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME I am no stranger to falling victim to 'falling in love'. I was a sucker for it. Having been exposed at an early age to the particular brand of romance that Hollywood so lavishly and abundantly produces, I became the boy who wore rose-colored glasses, who pined for that perfect 'someone' to come into my life one day, and who l...

On the bus In my brain When the sun's out When it rains In the dark In the light Whether near or Out of sight On my desk In my phone At the outdoors All alone At the park By the sea On my mind still Do you see? On two feet With such fun It's the same thought Overrun Sitting down Standing up Sipping coffee Off a cup Walking fast Walking slow You in my head Overflow Whether full Whether free You on my mind Do you see? Elevate Or descend Round and round now There's no end Write with pen Type online All your stories Merge with mine Just a thought Makes me smile Keeps me going Makes my while Mountain high Valley deep Overcoming Do you see? On my bed On my back No clue just how To react Your visage Or your voice Makes me simply Lose my poise Every word Nuances Every faux pas Interests Permeate All of me That's what you do Do you see?

If you're eagle-eyed you're sure to notice From miles away with certainty There's no way that you'd be fooled by all this You've unwrapped all the mystery You see a player on top of his game Go scoff at all the fun he's had His method besmirches every man's name You just want to bury this cad Perhaps he's one who's nestled in her arms Feigning much sensitivity She is obviously smitten by his charms So sly, smooth, so velvety You say, "Hey, pal! I know what you're doing! Heartbreaker's what you really are! To you she's just fiery pleasure brewing To her she's a fragile, bright star!" Another one on the horizon far Looks like he's running, on the take Maybe he left a trail of lover scars You should tell him to have a break Tell this dude to quit while he is ahead Before the bitter overflows Or the dark comes and chokes the sweet instead What that looks like, only...

We human beings come into existence in this world through no choice of our own. When we are born many things have already been decided on our behalf: our birth date, our birth place, and our birth parents. Our parentage is one of the choices we never make at the commencement of our lives. If we could have made that decision prior to birth, I think many of us would have chosen quite differently since not everyone has been born to loving and responsible parents. Growing up, a lot of us really don't get to see the value of our fathers and mothers because, at the time of our youth, we viewed them from the lens of immaturity, impatience, and ignorance. As an adult, I have come to realize how infinitely blessed I have been to have the parents that I got. I expressed this gratitude for having been influenced by my father in an article I wrote over three months ago. Today, in honor of my mother's birthday, I decided to express how grateful I am for her and how she broug...

I don't have tricks and Valentine surprise But what I have for you I'll publicize These ten and four are things I love in you Here's hoping you'll appreciate them, too 1 You have a way with words that's so unique I hear it in your voice each time you speak From random daily things to grandest schemes To talking about God and online memes 2 And then you have a way with written words You put a heart to nouns and chosen verbs The way you paint scenarios in prose The style you use in every one of those 3 I love how you adjust to what may come You flex and shift to people, and then some Adapting to what's needed at the time But still yourself enough to call you mine 4 And then, there's you who overcame the mess The one who grew resilient through stress The challenges you faced emboldened you Renewed your mind, and made you stronger, too 5 I am a fan of your persistent dreams Of conquering the worl...

Intricate Like spider webs spun Between two majestic oaks Line upon line, crisscrossing Matching, missing, imploding Tangential, incidental, intentional Connections made on sticky words Fluid moments and movements Complicated Into the eye, enter the storm A calm is found buried beneath the clouds In raging tempest solace is found And light and shadows mingle It works, it dazzles and mystifies Not everything makes sense But all is comprehensible Simple You choose it or you lose it That's really all there is When rains pour on the cobwebs Hold on tightly and love on brightly When sun is shining, beaming Embrace the rays, bask in it Life still goes on, go onward Profound Quell curiosity to find more questions Give all you have to gain everything Nothing is lost in vulnerable state Except our rusty shields But swords exchanged to sharpen both Each one, the other's pledged patrol This is here, this is now, this is it

A subtle invitation Longed for, accepted, embraced Little morsels of hope Forming mosaics of a future anticipated Every flourish swirling outward Conveying dormant fancies now awakened Every brush stroke sweeping inward Collecting vibrations from a heart invigorated Two fortnights breeze by my window Lifetimes encapsulated, placed on the ledge Perhaps a friendly pigeon will make haste Carry me to my Dear within the year Love, the multifaceted Muse Crept in slowly and grew fiercely Linger longer please Even if only on a sil

A decade, not long enough to search Add six years and healing to your hurts Put distance between you and the friend Insistent that that's that to the end At one glance, just thinking of those times Of night lives, partnering in those crimes Another, conversations matter Of  dreams, of lives, of hearts that shattered Apart, away, admitting nothing Aloof, abreast, not seeking something The years that came and the years that went They were years in isolation spent Until in flight and trips reunite An absent flame was there to ignite And spark to spark to trigger and more The journeys taken opened a door So, step by step, with bated pacing From friend to more, with hesitating With careful strokes, organic progress A heart revealed; a lover's ingress And now we're here expecting something Beyond ourselves, anticipating A day, a step, adventure looming A seed is sown; forever blooming

Here's another article I dug up from one of my really old blogs. This is an eleven-year-old essay but the contemplation pertaining to the topic at hand has never left the inner recesses of my mind. - - - - - Half way through 2007 [my] Pastor Joe [DiSarno] preached about the qualities of God's love. Agape love looks so different from man's concept of love. Agape thinks more about the welfare of others than the welfare of self. Agape gives more than it takes. Agape is more than just feelings. As Pastor Joe spoke on the matter over a period of a few weeks, I began to think that agape -- unconditional love -- is such a tall order. It's the kind that is not based on feelings. It's the kind that's always extravagant. It's the kind that's always willing to make sacrifices. At the end of this series of sermons, two questions came to mind: who can measure up to such high standards, and can I measure up to such high standards? The answers? Well,...

FONDLY This is to say that I want to play dress-up with you someday THINKING OF YOU This is to say that I want to see something beautiful blossom between us HELLO FRIEND This is to say that I want to go through the windows of opportunity that life opens up for us WHAT'S UP? This is to say that I want to someday conquer the world with you HEARTFELT This is to say that perhaps we could help each other get past the dead things in our lives HEY THERE! This is to say that this was the trigger that set it all in motion for me . . . You know what these are for. It's just better articulated now.

Fathers have been endued by God with a powerful impact on the life of their children, whether they realize it, admit it, own up to it or not. This is especially true during the formative years of children (I would say from conception to ten) when most everything kids experience early on in life is presented to them by -- and filtered through the involvement of -- their fathers. When a father abdicates his parental role, the chances of a young person finding a wayward path in life is exponentially increased, since the main guiding force in their life becomes physically or emotionally absent. However, when fathers take up their paternal mantle of loving, mentoring, validating, and directing their sons and daughters, the chances of children finding their purpose in life, learning to spread their proverbial wings, and soaring high despite the adversities of life is dramatically amplified. Even with pronounced flaws and inherent human weaknesses, a man who musters enough courage and ...

Family relationships are tricky: you are bound to them by blood and are expected to love them even when they are unlovable and when you would much rather shed their blood (kidding, of course). So it would come as a pleasant bonus when you have relatives that you not only love because they are kin, but also actually like because of the bonds of friendship formed among you. I could tell you stories of family drama (from both my paternal and maternal sides of the equation) collected through the years that have left me wishing I wasn't related to  some of 'these people': stories of conflict over money matters, broken trust over inheritance issues, severed communication because of unresolved misunderstandings. The list could go on. On the other hand, there have also been many encouraging memories of relatives going above and beyond the call of familial duty that reinforced the maxim, "blood is thicker than water": cousins, uncles, aunts, brothers, sister...

Yeah, so February 14, 2018 is just around the corner, and for sure many of my romance-rabid countrymen are going to go gaga for all things mushy -- flowers, chocolates, dates, cards, candle-lit dinners, proposals and whatnot's. I have no problem with that, really. Especially if the mushy stuff is actually backed by sincere sentiments and concrete commitments. What worries me are the "kids" that speed headlong in to "love" without any concept of what relationship are for (I used to be one of those). Here in the Philippines, one of the pervading cultural malady is the extraneous exigency of finding "forever" -- that special someone who will supposedly satiate all of one's emotional longings. Mr. or Ms. Forever is the one who is believed to never give you up, never let you down, never give you the run around, never desert you, never make you cry, never say goodbye, never tell a lie, and never hurt you . Many adhere to this mindset. ...