The Long Way Up

Wow! . . . . . That was like... what? . . . . . Four months? . . . . .  Four months and no entry on this blog?!?!?! . . . . . So much has happened in that span of time. . . . . . A LOT! . . . . . But the most important of those happenings is a major occasion in my life: MY WEDDING! . . . . . Yup! You read that right! My wedding. I got married. Or more specifically, 'we' got married. And by 'we' I mean myself and my best friend of 18.5 years. . . . . . However, this isn't an article enumerating the sequence of events leading up to the wedding; neither is this a post about my thoughts and emotions about our 'perfect' wedding (more on that in another entry). Instead, this is me sharing the personal vows I wrote for my Bride, J. As an older adult, I have learned to be very circumspect when it comes to making promises to anyone around me, and I have also learned to carefully evaluate the cost of any pledge I deemed deserving of my commitment. This was my approach...

A father plays a major role in the lives of his children. An understatement? An overstatement? Well, whichever your preference, it's a true statement; one that has been poorly heeded, greatly ignored, or severely missed out. Anyone can biologically sire a child -- we got a lot of that going on these days; but to be a father in every sense of the word is, for sure, such a tall order, which is why many men -- for several varying and valid reasons -- opt out of their responsibilities. One such responsibility inherent to the paternal role is the privilege of representing the Heavenly Father to his children. This wouldn't be much of a stretch if men, to begin with, had an existing relationship with their Father in Heaven growing up, and have spent their season of singleness practicing being God-conscious in whatever form of relationship they had with other people. But sadly, that isn't the case most of the time. So, whatever a man learns during his bachelorhood he usually carrie...

You go into a grocery store and you'll find it. Purchase an electronic product or an appliance and you'll see it. Venture into a construction or road works area and it'll be highly visible. They're tacked on to things and posted in places where caution is of great import. Warning labels. They inform consumers of potential allergens in food items so that harm could be avoided. They warn users of possible hazards when it comes to operating tech devices and common household appliances to assure safety. They keep the people away from dangerous industrial and public work areas so that no accidents occur. That's what these labels are for: to know how to properly use and operate things, and to always operate them within safe parameters. Many times, I have wished people came with warning labels because sometimes you just really do not know what you're getting when you get into certain human relationships. There's oftentimes no way of knowing who...

Feelings are tricky. Even deceptive. You can't control who you have strong affections for, and you could never be certain if that person you're pining for has the reciprocal equivalent of your heightened emotions. Liking someone -- and eventually developing lasting fondness for and attachment to them -- is like playing a game of Russian roulette: you never know if you're going to get shot in the head or live to see another day. . . preferably in the arms of your object of affection who turned out to feel the same way that you do. Sadly, life doesn't always go the way we want. SHO T TO THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME I am no stranger to falling victim to 'falling in love'. I was a sucker for it. Having been exposed at an early age to the particular brand of romance that Hollywood so lavishly and abundantly produces, I became the boy who wore rose-colored glasses, who pined for that perfect 'someone' to come into my life one day, and who l...

Six months into an exciting, engaging, and exhilarating romantic relationship with my then-best-friend-now-girlfriend, my initial belief in the utmost significance of communication in fostering honesty, openness, and strong bonds of the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual kind has been gradually but steadily reinforced, applied, and lived out. From talking about the spiritual (faith and the rule of God) to the physical (health and food choices) to the musical (Scarypoolparty and Songland) to the extra special (travel plans and future goals), J and I have had awesome hours talking to each other, exchanging ideas and points of view as we both have a particular knack for meaningful dialogue and clever conversations. One major factor for our robust discussions is our ability to listen attentively while the other is talking . We both do love to talk -- a lot -- but we've come to a realization that in order to have effective communication in a relationship, we have to use our e...

A few blog posts ago I mentioned that the nature of my job has an ebb-and-flow, peaks-and-valleys kind of set-up: sometimes task as few and far between; sometimes they come in droves. In the last few weeks I've been feeling more of the latter, which has kept me from writing new material for my blog -- been wanting to continue my Japan-based tech-thriller of a short story for some time now. In view of this circumstance, you could probably understand now why I've been bring out some of my old stuff from an ancient blog of mine to sort of keep the momentum going on this current blog. This one is yet again another entry in both my parental and throwback series, and was written over 10 years ago. - - - - - Last Saturday the cell group discussed the topic of discipline using Hebrews 12:7-12 as the springboard. The Lord gave me this word to share to the guys just hours before and I really believe it was a "now" word. I see in the spirit that many young m...

I'm still really astounded how some "believers" do not see nor understand the value of patiently waiting for the fulfillment of God's sovereign plan in and for the affairs of human beings. In the course of the last month and a half, I have repeatedly shared with different circles of my family and friends the story of how God orchestrated the events of my life that led me to the point of asking one of my best friends to become my girlfriend. In each telling of the narrative, I have emphasized the fact that we were first and foremost really good friends for about 16 years, and that the last three of those years were seasons of watching over our friendship, evaluating my attraction to her, contemplating a possible relationship with her, and praying to God for guidance through my emotions and in my decisions. Time and patience were always key elements in the story I was telling; that regardless of my chronological age and the level of my spiritual maturity,...

Intricate Like spider webs spun Between two majestic oaks Line upon line, crisscrossing Matching, missing, imploding Tangential, incidental, intentional Connections made on sticky words Fluid moments and movements Complicated Into the eye, enter the storm A calm is found buried beneath the clouds In raging tempest solace is found And light and shadows mingle It works, it dazzles and mystifies Not everything makes sense But all is comprehensible Simple You choose it or you lose it That's really all there is When rains pour on the cobwebs Hold on tightly and love on brightly When sun is shining, beaming Embrace the rays, bask in it Life still goes on, go onward Profound Quell curiosity to find more questions Give all you have to gain everything Nothing is lost in vulnerable state Except our rusty shields But swords exchanged to sharpen both Each one, the other's pledged patrol This is here, this is now, this is it

A shy, scrawny boy sits isolated on one of the benches facing the soccer field of an all-boys' school. He is insecure about himself and uncertain about his life. He is eleven. He is quiet and quite reserved, kept to himself, and tried to attract as little attention as he could. He isn't like the other boys. He didn't care about being the leader of the pack; the Alpha male. He didn't care about being the strongest in the class. He didn't even care about being the smartest either. He just wanted to go through secondary school unnoticed. However, noticed was exactly what he got. It only took one judgmental thought verbalized into one careless statement from one clueless teenager to form one lasting effect on this shy boy's life: "Hey, faggot!" And just like that, a reputation was born. Reputation: ...the common opinion that people have about someone or something;  ...the way in which peop...

A decade, not long enough to search Add six years and healing to your hurts Put distance between you and the friend Insistent that that's that to the end At one glance, just thinking of those times Of night lives, partnering in those crimes Another, conversations matter Of  dreams, of lives, of hearts that shattered Apart, away, admitting nothing Aloof, abreast, not seeking something The years that came and the years that went They were years in isolation spent Until in flight and trips reunite An absent flame was there to ignite And spark to spark to trigger and more The journeys taken opened a door So, step by step, with bated pacing From friend to more, with hesitating With careful strokes, organic progress A heart revealed; a lover's ingress And now we're here expecting something Beyond ourselves, anticipating A day, a step, adventure looming A seed is sown; forever blooming

Here's another article I dug up from one of my really old blogs. This is an eleven-year-old essay but the contemplation pertaining to the topic at hand has never left the inner recesses of my mind. - - - - - Half way through 2007 [my] Pastor Joe [DiSarno] preached about the qualities of God's love. Agape love looks so different from man's concept of love. Agape thinks more about the welfare of others than the welfare of self. Agape gives more than it takes. Agape is more than just feelings. As Pastor Joe spoke on the matter over a period of a few weeks, I began to think that agape -- unconditional love -- is such a tall order. It's the kind that is not based on feelings. It's the kind that's always extravagant. It's the kind that's always willing to make sacrifices. At the end of this series of sermons, two questions came to mind: who can measure up to such high standards, and can I measure up to such high standards? The answers? Well,...

An exchange of thoughts and opinions. A shared laughter or a smile. An affirmation displayed through a listening ear or a pat on the back. These are some of the gestures that convey reception and relationship, which comprise the core need of a human being: to feel and be connected with another one and with one another. Whether between a parent and a child, a husband and a wife,  siblings and friends, or even with perfect strangers, people have an innate desire to form relationships where they can find acceptance, forge trust, feel safe, and foster happiness. Can I get a connection? The world has become not only a small place in the last few decades, but it has also become a busy one with too much to do with what little time its people have. As if a typical 9-to-5, five-day-a-week work weren't enough to keep us humans occupied, we had to go and add sports, hobbies, travel, and other pursuits into the mix. Because of this, making deep and meaningful connections with pe...

Fathers have been endued by God with a powerful impact on the life of their children, whether they realize it, admit it, own up to it or not. This is especially true during the formative years of children (I would say from conception to ten) when most everything kids experience early on in life is presented to them by -- and filtered through the involvement of -- their fathers. When a father abdicates his parental role, the chances of a young person finding a wayward path in life is exponentially increased, since the main guiding force in their life becomes physically or emotionally absent. However, when fathers take up their paternal mantle of loving, mentoring, validating, and directing their sons and daughters, the chances of children finding their purpose in life, learning to spread their proverbial wings, and soaring high despite the adversities of life is dramatically amplified. Even with pronounced flaws and inherent human weaknesses, a man who musters enough courage and ...

I don't demand much from people, if I do at all. I'm typically easygoing and really not hard to please once you get to know me. Anger doesn't come as easily to me as offense does, but even then a subsequent response comes as a carefully thought out proceeding. I do not hastily respond when I am angry, as I prefer to weigh my words first before launching them from my mouth because once they're spoken, there's no taking them back. So when people come at me with repeated disrespect and condescension, I think it is but fitting that I put my foot down and speak my mind, especially when blatant disrespect is done repeatedly and in the presence of others. Never mind that I'm a pastor; that part can be disregarded, as far as I'm concerned. But if the other party can not, will not, or does not have the capacity to exercise good discretion, extend basic honoring to another human, and express respect to a fellow believer, I would most likely be provoked to g...

The imagery of dark-skinned Africans bound hand and foot by iron chains, shepherded into big wooden ships by their pale-complexioned captors, taken to distant lands as merchandise sold to the highest bidders, put to hard labor against their will without any compensation, and suffering abuse and injustice from cruel task masters may be a long-forgotten visual aid of the atrocious nature of human slavery, but the essence of it has lost none of its potency. We may not all be bound by chains, but we are all bound by something, whether we admit it or not. We are all tied to at least one thing that we either refuse to let go of, or another that refuses to let go of us. We may live in a day and age where blatant enslavement seems to be a thing of the past, but we are in fact living in a world where slavery -- in its so many varied forms -- is still in full swing. Cha-ching! Some of us are bound hand and foot by the chains of financial and material pursuits. We gain the whole wo...