The One with the End of the Year Post

It's the eve of the year 2018 and I have quite a lot of time on my hands -- a lot of time in a quiet, secluded, noise-free and firework-fume-free environment. And I've got a lot of things on my mind.

This'll be the first time in a long time that I'll be spending the coming of a new year on my own (the last one being the transition between 2012 and 2013).

I don't mind being alone as much as I mind being lonely. The former has been my condition since 2012 when the last members of my immediate family (my mother and nephew, Amir) finally moved to New Zealand for good. The latter is a condition that visits me every now and then with varying degrees of manageability. But this is not a blog entry about loneliness.

A year ago we had this discussion in our young adults' fellowship called Alone But Not Lonely. And for the most part of the last five years I have been alone... but not lonely. And 'lucky'* for me that's what I like! (*used for effect. I don't believe in luck)

I have, in fact, mostly enjoyed these years that I have been alone. These have been years of growth and personal discovery for me.

I found out that I had a love for travel.

It was during this season of my life that I began exploring the neighboring towns in the island I live in. The bus rides, long hikes, and seen sights became some of my addictions, albeit harmless ones (except to the wallet). This also helped me appreciate the beauty of my corner of the country.

I found out the extent of my dependence on God.

With no immediate family/support system (because overseas) and no best friends (because introvert), I had no one else to turn to but God when the doldrums and dilemmas came. It was quite a painful yet necessary experience as it showed me the veracity of God's promises and the potency of mixing them with faith. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I learned a lot about myself.

Having been alone for these five years also afforded me a lot of time for introspection. I took a look at my character -- the positives and negatives of it -- and by the grace of God made the required adjustments. I also took this time to assess how I was doing as a son, brother, uncle, nephew, friend, pastor, leader; as well as evaluate my mental, emotional, physiological, financial, and spiritual readiness for possible future roles and responsibilities (e.g. as husband and father, and shepherd of my own flock).

And now here I am. Three hours until the new year arrives. Alone. But not lonely.

Looking back at some of the good things being solo has enabled me to learn and experience.

Looking forward to new things and life lessons in 2018 and onward.

Alone.

Or otherwise.