Mono

The longer one lives on this planet, the more they learn about themselves and others. In my case, all forty-two-and-a-half years of my life have shown me that I can't stand being around a lot of people for long periods of time.

That's not to say I do not bear the discomfort of it, which I do; I'm saying if I had it my way each time I would choose to spend most of my time with fewer or no people around me at all.

#IntrovertProblems. 😔

The reasons why I prefer to be by myself are as follows (these might not be all of them):

- I get to avoid unnecessary chatter. Sometimes people talk too much about things that aren't really that important. Sometimes I feel too much talk is just adding to the noise.

- Silence. Yes, it is connected to the first reason. Silence for me is such a priceless commodity that's getting more and more hard to find in a crowded metropolis like Cebu. Noise pollution comes from sources other than people, too: vehicles in traffic being some of the most notorious noisemakers.

- Pretense. I've also come to notice that the bigger the group of people becomes, the more one tends to put up a front in the presence of others. Whether it's to conceal a flaw or weakness, or to flaunt self-proclaimed greatness, any form of pretense is always a source of exasperation for me.

- Unmindfulness. One of the things I really loved about my 2017 trip to Tokyo, Japan was the evident culture of being mindful of other people. From commuters using the subway train stations to courteous restaurant wait-staff, the Japanese, in general, always consider how their actions affect others... ON A DAILY BASIS. I find that this trait is not really inherent to most Filipinos. We are quite hospitable as a people, yes, but most of the time we're not that mindful of other people and the consequences of our actions. Yet another reason why I prefer to be by myself most of the time. Not everyone thinks about how they or their actions affect me; and that's hard for someone who -- to the best of their ability -- is trying to consider and condescend to others on a regular basis.

- - - - -

I'll file this under "Potential Long Term Thorn(s) in the Flesh" until proven otherwise. The Bible does tell "me" to prefer others in love and to consider others better than one's self.

I can only hope and pray that other Bible-reading and Bible-believing Christians would follow suit.