Ratchet

There are certain things about my life that I have chosen to willingly make public through social media and actual social interactions with the people in and around the periphery of my life. These aspects about me that I have decided to share online and in conversations are pieces of who I am that I want to put out there so that people -- with varying degrees of closeness to me and with different access to my life -- can get the right information about me and form their opinions of me based on facts that come 'straight from the horse's mouth'.

If you get to see content about my travel adventures (locally and internationally), it means I've given you access to that part of my life. You can talk about it as openly as you want, because I have shared it as openly as I want.

If you come across a social media post or if I casually talked to you about my love for either Switchfoot or Jars of Clay, it means you've been allowed to peek into and speak into that aspect of my life as a lover of guitar-driven music.

If you get to read or hear portions of my poured out thoughts, exposing what's in my heart online and off, it means I've given you the privilege of gaining access to a space in my life that I consider very 'sacred' -- not everyone in my life has access to this inner sanctum.

The things that I have openly made known to people are things about me that I have carefully considered making public before I put them out there. Some might think that I share way too much on social media -- what with my numerous and various posts on different platforms on a daily basis -- but in actuality those things are just the 'tip of the iceberg'. Those who really know me know this to be true.

Having said that, I want to just say (though this probably won't reach my 'intended audience'; more of just sounding off, really) that the things that I do not share at all on the Internet or among the different circles of friends (acquaintances... strangers?) offline are things that I do not want people to have their hands on or have a say in!

Perhaps common sense should have clued people in about the level of privacy and secrecy I have kept about the things in my life that I consider really, really important... but I guess it's true what they say: "common sense is not common!" You know what else is not common? Minding one's own business and leaving others alone to deal with their own personal lives. It's terribly vexing how some people have made it a goal in their lives to meddle into everyone else's. Annoying!

The other day one of my close male friends told me that there was a certain group of people who badgered him for information about my love life and future plans: "Who is he interested in? Why isn't he dating? Maybe he doesn't know how to make the first move? Why doesn't he like to be matched up with someone? You know, we heard he's gonna migrate to another country? But who's gonna take care of him there if he doesn't have someone in his life?" And a slew of other questions and assumptions.

I got really exasperated with what my friend told me about what these people were asking and speculating about me. I rhetorically asked my friend "Don't they have anything better to do with their lives or anything better to talk about? Couldn't they have offered their unsolicited advice to those who are blindly making a mess of their (love) lives, instead of to someone who's trying the best they can to walk the straight and narrow?" Furthermore, I added: "You know, they could have just asked me directly instead of trying to squeeze information out of you -- someone who isn't at liberty (or even privy to details) to say anything substantial!"

This is one of the many reasons why I keep most of my cards close to my chest, especially pertaining  to the major aspects of my life: too many people wanting to put in too many cents into too many issues of other people's lives without even making sense! I mean I get safety in numbers and wisdom in multitudinous counsel, but when people start chiming in on aspects of my life that I didn't even share publicly and I didn't even solicit advice about, it just sends me straight through the roof and makes me even more cautious about busybodies and chatterboxes.

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We need to learn discretion when it comes to other people's lives, their stories and their issues. There's a statement that a couple of my friends would say to me whenever I ask them about certain things about certain people that they are not at liberty to talk about: "It's not our story to tell!" And they're right. If those certain people haven't made "their story" public, then it should remain in the confines of their chosen domain of privacy. If they haven't asked for any counsel, we should learn to keep our thoughts to ourselves and voice it out only when asked. We should all learn when to stay out of people's personal business and when to shut the front door!