Volition

My life has it own set of ironies and conundrums that have left me scratching my head for a long time. Ironies like why a guy like me gets thrust into positions of leadership. I'm not naturally commanding as a person, and I don't ask much from people, which is the very reason I'm still wondering why I have been put in charge of certain leadership responsibilities in the last eight years of my life.

In my estimation, there are other, more qualified people out there who'd fit the leadership mold far better than I ever could: individuals who are goal-oriented, results-oriented, program-oriented, or career-oriented; people who are dripping with so much charisma and authority that they'd have multitudes hanging on their every word and eating out of their hand; men and women who know every twist and turn of the whole "follow-my-lead" routine.

And then there's people like me: people who always feel ill at ease when it comes to urging people to fall in line and take orders; who would much rather faithfully support from behind the scenes than to rally the troops; who would prefer to co-labor with a coalition of the willing than to coerce or cajole people into a cause.

Being in the position of authority, heading a team, or being the decision maker of a group would not be my first pick if given the chance choose any designation within a congregation of people. But sadly (or thankfully... whichever way you look at it), we can't always get what we want in life.

So yeah. I am in a leadership position. I have been for quite a while now. From overseeing a ministry team, to handling a small group of teenage and young adult men, to coordinating altar workers in church, I have filled out slots set apart for those who must take charge and charge ahead of others. I have been given several spheres of authority where I need to lead people to do specific tasks.

Sometimes I wish that wasn't the case. There is so much expected of you when you become a leader. So much weight is saddled on your shoulders.

People want you to be a shining example of what it means to be a good and upstanding human being without even considering their own morality and uprightness as human beings.

They want leaders to rule fairly and excellently for the benefit of all but rarely factor into the equation their submission and obedience to the person in authority, let alone the position of authority.

They have a lot of "constructive" criticism to offer but rarely any solution.

Being a leader is not for the faint-hearted.

I would much prefer to gather together people who will voluntarily do the right thing without being forced into obedience or debated into submission; people who will fall in line and take orders on their own volition because they understand why that needs to be done.

That's a tall order, I know.

In a perfect world it would be attainable. But I have been called to lead in a broken one.

Ergo, I must learn.