The Legend of Cora

Family relationships are tricky: you are bound to them by blood and are expected to love them even when they are unlovable and when you would much rather shed their blood (kidding, of course).

So it would come as a pleasant bonus when you have relatives that you not only love because they are kin, but also actually like because of the bonds of friendship formed among you.

I could tell you stories of family drama (from both my paternal and maternal sides of the equation) collected through the years that have left me wishing I wasn't related to  some of 'these people': stories of conflict over money matters, broken trust over inheritance issues, severed communication because of unresolved misunderstandings. The list could go on.

On the other hand, there have also been many encouraging memories of relatives going above and beyond the call of familial duty that reinforced the maxim, "blood is thicker than water": cousins, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, parents whose 'friendships' gave life more meaning and color.

My aunt, Cora, is one such person.

A few days ago at a family gathering, I had the opportunity to briefly catch up with her and I suddenly had this burst of appreciation for her. Not that I didn't value her before; but somehow this meeting made me think of the many wonderful things she's done and been to me and to the family in general.

When I was a young boy, hanging out with my cousins was always a treat; but it would always be made special when Auntie Cora was around. To us, her nephews and one niece (at the time), she was the cool aunt who spent time with us, took us out on ice cream raids in the city (Coney Island!), and introduced us to her circle of friends, whom we also called aunties (Auntie Catherine was one of the prominent ones). She would lavish us with gifts and treats, and share jokes and laughs with us.

Even now, with some of us in our 40s and have families of our own, she is still the cool aunt that readily accommodates us when we're in Manila (where she lives); still lavishes us with gifts and treats; and still regales us with funny anecdotes of some of our family's history (and back stories).

To me, personally, she has always been the go-to person when I had questions about my father that no one was willing to provide answers to... or won't. Although she couldn't always supply all the answers I was looking for, I always appreciated that she took the time to hear me out and answered my questions as best as she could. Auntie Cora has become a confidant of sorts over the years. We would always have wonderful conversations and I would always walk away learning something about my family's past or an important life lesson (knowingly shared or otherwise).

Never mind that she's shockingly generous or that she's such a meticulous hostess when we're staying at their house; this aunt of mine is an all around kind person who always thinks of the welfare of those around her. She and her husband both share the same abovementioned qualities. It is no surprise that they have been blessed over the years -- materially or otherwise -- as they have always channelled said blessings to others in need in their friend and family circles.

In the last few years of frequent trips to Manila and getting billeted in their casa grande, I've seen how Auntie Cora has become an elegant woman of care, compassion, and seemingly effortless multitasking: I so love how she manages her household, guest arrival-stay-departure schedules, sightseeing and road trip itineraries, and even her involvement in community-related work.

I count it as a privilege and a blessing to know her not just as a relative tied to me by blood and name, but also as a friend I can confide in and laugh with. She is a rare gem in my family (both sides considered) and will always have a spot in my heart as a loving aunt and a living legend.