There Will Be a Light

Since the dawn of human history, mankind has always had the inclination to want to know as much as they can about many things… important things… everything! There seems to have always been an insatiable hunger to attain awareness pertaining — and even peripheral — to whatever exists under the sun, occurs on the earth, and eludes logical explanation. In fact, in centuries of human civilization, the accumulation of cognizance has always been equated to the aggregation of might, and those who have gained vast amounts of awareness have more often than not inclined toward brandishing and wielding information to their own advantage and success.

The old adage, ‘knowledge is power,’ has — for better or for worse — been proven true time and again throughout history.

One does not even have to look into recorded historical facts of how Adolf Hitler’s knowledge of the theory of evolution and ‘the survival of the fittest’ led him and the Nazis to discriminate, segregate, and terminate thousands of Jews all over Europe in the second World War; or how the Spanish friars lorded over their knowledge of ‘God’ above the natives of what would become the Philippine islands in order to subjugate them with their supposed religious supremacy; or how Herod used the knowledge of the Messiah’s birth and location to launch a massive infanticide campaign to eliminate a defenseless political rival. 

A simple introspection into our everyday lives is sufficient enough to open our eyes to see how we, Adam’s descendants, have had the proclivity to be recklessly abusive of the power of knowledge in attempting to achieve the most illusive and deceptive of all human cravings: control.

Human beings are ravenous hunters of knowledge because human beings so desperately want to be in control: of life; of circumstances; even of people. We want to know things because we want to control things: this is a byproduct of man’s fallen, sinful nature; inherited from our father Adam. Where God designed mankind to reflect His dominion over all things, the Devil — through the introduction of sin — warped man’s dominion mandate into a perverted desire to conquer, dominate, and enslave.

Mankind craves knowledge because it gives him a semblance of authority and autonomy over his existence, which in turn gives him a modicum of mastery over life on this planet. This predilection causes him to want full navigational grasp of the ship with the intention of veering away from the uncertain and the uncomfortable. To that end, he seeks to find out what resources he has at his disposal and use them to steer the rudder toward the favorable and the feasible.

People want to do things their way, make things happen at their own time, and achieve whatever it is that suits their desires; deluding themselves too often that because they have knowledge, they have control.

Humans go to great lengths to ensure that their families are safe and taken care of — bending over backwards more often than not — just to have that sense of assurance that their loved ones’ well-being and future are set in stone and unassailable.

They want to keep close watch over the lives of the people they love and be in the know of the minutiae of their existence because they want to have a hand over everything that they deem is necessary in sustaining these relationships. Perhaps they might fear losing a loved one — for whatever reason — so they make sure they’ve got everything down pat and all the bases covered.

But in reality, there are a lot of things we, finite humans, do not know, which indicate that we do not have that much power and control over our lives and circumstances.

We do not know, for starters, what each new day brings. Will it be a good one or a bad one? Will it be exciting or mundane? Will it bring success or failure? Even with some level of preparation and anticipation — knowing the weather forecast, pre-scheduled events, special occasions — we simply have no way of knowing what hand we will be dealt with every fresh rising of the sun.

We humans are incredibly notorious when it comes to wanting to know why certain circumstances happen in our lives. The ‘why’ must be answered if we are to come to terms with tragedy, grief, pain, and failure. It has often been the reason many have not and cannot move on with life: the why has just been too elusive.

Personal experience has taught me that reasons often come later… if they ever come at all.

My life has not been devoid of struggles, defeats, and despair, and many times the great ask always comes to the fore when I ponder on these undesirable life situations: Why me? Why do I need to go through this? Why can’t I have this relationship? Why is this experience infuriatingly intense? Why do I feel so isolated and insecure? Why am I still here and not there? Why am I afraid? Why can’t I escape this?

At the time of these perplexing life episodes and the raising of these questions, knowledge was not made immediately available; and in other cases, knowledge was not at all released.

Those were some tough predicaments to be in the middle of with no clear idea of what was transpiring, no power to change those seemingly unending occurrences, no control over where it was all leading to.

There was, however, one element of knowledge that I had a hold of — languidly as I could — which sustained me through those terrible times: I knew God; I knew He was good; I knew He was in control.

Even in the midst of the most recent torturous conundrums I found myself in, having the knowledge that God was there, that He cared, that He saw and knew every little thing that was happening to me gave me hope — as faint as it might have been — that though I may not know or understand what He was doing or allowing in my life at the moment, someday… sooner or later… there will be a light shed on my dark situation.

As much as I wanted to control my unfavorable circumstances, I learned — and am still learning — to trust that God was in control and that He knew what He was doing. Even though He does not always immediately release understanding or provide an explanation of the experiences I’ve had, I have come to know that because He is good, His intentions are good.

Knowing that truth has helped me take control of the only aspect of my life that I can: my choices, my decisions, my will. I have learned that choosing to trust God especially in the most overwhelming circumstances can position my heart and my mind to better endure through the strongest of storms. I have found that believing in the goodness of God even in the midst of a bad situation can bring me through the tunnel of despair, all the way out to victory. I have discovered that as I submit my will to God’s will, the struggles become fewer and the way becomes smoother.

I still do not know a lot about life… about God… even after almost half a century of life; and when it comes to control and commanding circumstances and people in and around my life… I don’t think I will ever get around to that or get the hang of it. But if knowledge is indeed power, and power does indeed beget control, then I’ll hang on the knowledge of the glory of God. He will, for sure, manifest His power in my weakness, and He will — as he always does — exert His rightful and righteous control over the ebbs and flows of my life.

Life is quite often a great big mystery and there are a lot of things that I still do not understand or know the reasons thereof; but I believe that someday I’ll know the reasons, the why’s, the explanations, the causations, the gears behind the mechanism of life.

For now, I yield to the One Who holds all the power and the One Who is in full control.